What 25 Years as an Esthetician Has Taught Me

I went into esthetics school as a wee one, straight out of high school. Very naive and entirely unaware as to what I had signed up for.

I wasn’t a girly girl. I barely wore makeup or cared what I looked like to anyone other than myself. I also had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and when a friend suggested esthetics school, I leapt a little blindly.

Twenty-five years later, I can honestly say it was one of the best accidental decisions I ever made.

There is so much this profession has given me. Careers and businesses and friendships. Cities I might never have lived in otherwise. An education that has continued long after I left esthetics school. So many different versions of myself, and so many different stages of life that have grown out of this one little decision I made at 18. And I could probably write many blogs about each of those personal learnings, because I’ve loved every minute of it (even the challenging ones).

But while the list of things this profession has taught me is long, the most profound has very little to do with skincare.

It’s how deeply women judge themselves and, sadly, each other.

I have spent 25 years sitting across from women while they tell me everything they dislike about their skin and bodies. Things other people have told them about themselves. Judgments from other people they have carried for years.

The lines around their eyes. The pigmentation on their cheeks. The pores they swear have suddenly become enormous. The acne they had as teenagers that they still remember. The skin that changed after having children. The skin that changed again through perimenopause. The scar they wish wasn't there. The face they feel no longer looks like the face they remember.

And so often, before I have even touched their skin, they have already told me everything they think is wrong with it and compared themselves to someone else’s appearance.

I get to show you the pieces you can’t see. The beautiful skin tone. The cheekbones for days. The glow you thought was an oil slick. The progress you didn’t notice because you were too busy looking at the one thing you still wanted to change. Or when, somewhere in the middle of a conversation, a client realizes that her skin isn’t actually a problem she needs to solve with shelves full of products.

And listen, I’m all for a bit of Botox. I love a laser treatment and could happily microneedle all day, every day. I am not here to convince you that you should age naturally, nor am I here to convince you that you shouldn’t.

What I care about is that the choices you make are yours.

Because after 25 years, I think that may be one of the most important things I’ve learned. And after all these years, I still think the best part of my job is not helping women look different.

It’s helping them see themselves a little more kindly.